Dating in the 21st century isn’t easy. While movies try hard to simplify the idea of love, it doesn’t always pan out that way in real life. Before dating someone, it is important to understand who you are and what you want, this stands whether you’re on the best Mexican dating site or eharmony. If there are not enough similarities between you and your prospective partner, or if you don’t have the have goals, things can turn sour down the line.
For someone who doesn’t want to have kids, dating is especially tricky. A lot of individuals in society have aspirations to start a family at some point in their life, while others prefer not to. Generally, wanting kids isn’t just something you grow into.
Children are a huge responsibility, and if you don’t see them in your future, chances are you probably never will. It’s natural for you to run into people who don’t see things eye-to-eye with you, but that doesn’t mean wanting to stay child-free disqualifies you from dating.
If you’re a single someone who never wants to have any kids but would love to find a partner, follow a few tips to avoid potential roadblocks.
1. Be honest from the get-go
Let your date know about your plans from the beginning, and don’t beat around the bush. First impressions can lead to a lot of assumptions. Perhaps, the person sitting across the table from you has always dreamt of having children one day.
Just like you have your reasons to remain child-free, they have theirs for wanting kids. So, try putting yourself in your date’s shoes. You can’t expect harmony in your relationship if there’s no honesty. This is why laying everything on the table before things get serious is practical; it saves both parties a lot of unnecessary heartbreak.
Even if you’re dating someone you have known your whole life, make your objectives clear. Of course, you don’t have to spill the beans on your first date, but when you feel the time is right – get talking. Dynamics may change once two people enter into a relationship, and your choices must be made clear.
Contrarily, if your partner is someone you’ve met as a result of online dating, don’t hide your true self at the risk of appearing too forward. Unless you’re not looking for something permanent, it shouldn’t matter if you’re perceived as exceedingly forthcoming. There is zero shame in knowing what you want.
2. Don’t expect people to change – not even yourself!
Even though relationships are made strong because of love; the latter can’t overcome everything. Going into a relationship with the hope that your partner may see things your way eventually is a dangerous approach.
Sometimes, even though two people are exceedingly happy together, certain decisions can make them incompatible. Therefore expecting someone to change is a waste of time, and it is unfair. Everyone a right to stick to their choices.
Similarly, if you sense your partner thinks your desire not to have children is just a ‘phase’ – make them understand that it isn’t. People don’t always make their dreams and ambitions clear. Instead, they resort to implicit ways to get others on board with what they want. In case you’re caught in such a situation, have the heart to leave.
Yes, gathering up the courage to end a relationship is difficult, but it can stave off potential future heartbreak and resentment.
3. Ensure certainty
Once you’ve gotten the ‘talk’ out of the way, make sure each of you is sure of what you have decided. If you’re young, this is extremely important. Nothing in life is stagnant and all humans are an outcome of their experiences. Maybe your partner just thinks they don’t want kids because they can’t imagine caring for one with their current circumstances. Technically, this is something they will have to figure out on their own but you can still help with the process.
It is common to meet couples who either have children or are planning to have them rather than those who don’t. And because this is how a large part of the world works, people sometimes misconstrue their feelings. A great way to confirm your partner’s desire to stay child-free would be to go on double dates with other similar couples to get a realistic idea of what their way of living life actually entails.